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  • Writer's pictureDebra Lee May

How to love your next phase

I thought I was the only one.

As you know, a lot of things change over the years. Life comes at you, and you do what you can to keep it together. You do what you can to make sure the necessary things don’t slip away. Parents die, friends shift, careers change, kids grow, school becomes difficult, and life just happens.

As everything in my life changed over the last 10-15 years, my confidence had shifted. My friends had slipped away, and even though there were lots of people around me, I was lonely. I was embarrassed by how things had shifted in my life. I thought no one could understand how I was feeling.

It felt as though I had lost my personality, my identity. I wasn’t sure who I was or how to find myself. I was ashamed because I was sure that no one else had ever felt like this.

As life rapidly changed, I minimized myself to take care of everyone, and there was so much on my plate that, for the first time, I honestly did not know what to do.

I used to be the most confident and driven person I knew. I worked my way up to the highest levels of my career, and I was making significant money. The funny thing is, at the time, I honestly didn’t care about what anyone else thought of me. I did what was right for me and went after my dreams full force.

Things shifted, my priorities changed, and, not unlike other women, I left my career to raise my children.

To keep everyone together, I appeased others and minimized myself to get it all done and, hopefully, get some sleep. But, not making yourself a priority makes you feel bad and, all of the sudden, the busyness takes you away from you. The cycle begins.

I felt as though I had fallen from high heights and hit rock bottom. I felt as if no one noticed the shift in my personality or maybe no one cared. I realize now that was wrong. It was just that the only person who could help me was me.

I would have never believed it could happen to me.

By the time my kids were in high school and my time started to free up a bit, I started my search back to me. I was determined to figure it out.

The biggest lesson I learned was that this happens to so many women and it wasn’t just me. Once I began to feel the shift, I became determined to help other women figure it out as well.

I learned various mind shifts and techniques that pushed me forward, but one of the most significant changes occurred through the connections I made with other like-minded women; women who had been there and understood.

I found women who were moving into a new phase of their lives, and like me wanted more. I found women who were willing to discuss the things that no one else was talking about, but everyone was feeling. I saw women who wanted to change their lives, up-level their thinking, empower others, and help make a difference.

It became even more exciting when I found women throughout the whole world were facing similar situations and looking for solutions. My life suddenly became intertwined in international connections that surprised and inspired me.

So, Karen O’Connor from Australia, Marie-Anne Lecoeur from France, and I from America, have created a group called The Next Phase – Style Your Life – A Facebook Group.

This free group includes an international connection of like-minded women who are ready to rise.

If you’re ready for real conversation and connections, and prepared to up-level all areas of your life, join us!

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