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How to Keep Your Relationships Strong

Updated: Apr 3, 2021

Want to make that relationship euphoria last? You’ll need to stand in your power, and allow others to stand in theirs, too.

— Published Thrive Global on November 19, 2018

Most relationships start out intense and passionate. The first few months are filled with that euphoria of getting to know one another, and you share things that you never told anyone before.

Want to make that relationship euphoria last? You’ll need to stand in your power, and allow others to stand in theirs, too.

I was having a conversation with a young woman the other day, and she told me about how much she loves her job, and she just got a promotion. I love seeing women feeling passionate about their lives. I said her how excited I was for her and asked if she and her live-in boyfriend were going out to celebrate?

She said she didn’t tell him because he’s having a hard time at work and she didn’t want to make him feel bad.

And it begins. The first time you hide for the sake of others.

You hide your accomplishments or accolades or how much you enjoy something that maybe others don’t.

I wonder when he finally gets that promotion or raise and you celebrate with him, will you share your successes or will you continue to hide it because, well, that’s his night?

It’s from your heart, but this simple idea of keeping it to yourself has the power to disrupt your relationships for a long time.

This was one of your moments. You shined at work or did something you were really proud of, and then instead of sharing it, you hid your brilliance from the world, or maybe just your little world, as though if you shine too brightly, you will somehow dim their light.

It’s in those things that you start to hide away for the sake of others because you care about their feelings.

The first time felt uncomfortable, but before you know it, life gets busier, and the list that you hide away gets longer. There just isn’t time and now you’ve decided it really wasn’t that important anyway.

Who you are from the core, your confidence, and how you live your life, comes from who you are in all your brilliance.

Hiding it away changes everything!

The passion of a new relationship is intense, and you feel this incredible vibe of sharing it all with someone. It’s exciting, and it feels good.

As you move on to the next phase, some of that euphoria becomes a bit more routine, but now you understand each other on a deeper level.

When you’re young, it’s hard to imagine that this feeling will ever change. You only know that this is what you want, and you’d never hurt him.

So, when will the time be right? Next week? Next month? After he gets that promotion?

Over time, the bits and pieces you hide away, change you. You’re no longer standing in the realness of you. Instead, you’re becoming the person you believe they think you are, or the person you feel you’re expected to be.

Your relevance diminishes, and the relationship feels off.

Women hide an array of truths to make life easier. You sacrifice yourself to help others feel good and to make time for whatever comes up. This is how you give yourself away.

Whether it’s hiding details or not making time for your own needs. It’s acting selfless, rather than empowered. It minimizes you and your role in the relationship rather than being equal. The more you hide away, the bigger the rifts become, and the connection begins to fade.

The thing is, you need to know what you want, and why you want it. Focusing on your goals strengthens your ability to stand in your own power. What do you want your life to look like and how do you want to feel in 5, 10, or even 20 years? Write it down and take the time to visualize living at your best with the people you love. When you’re feeling secure and aligned, it’s harder to play small.

Simply staying present and emotionally available to what’s going on around you also raises your awareness to make better decisions in the heat of the moment.

It all starts with you.

Growing and sharing in your brilliance elevates you and energizes everyone around you. It creates the vibrational shift of the pure joy of living.

Your success doesn’t take away from someone else, but hiding it takes away the truth.

Chances are the more you experience and share, the more you stand in the incredible power of who you’re becoming, the closer, more loving, more fulfilling the relationship will grow.

— Published on November 19, 2018

Debra Lee May, Life Coach; Mindset & Leadership Mentor

Debra Lee May, Life Coach; Mindset and Leadership Mentor, on a mission to help women overcome circumstances, and neutralize negative emotions holding them back. Debra is an expert at helping women create shifts in their lives by understanding their truths, uncovering their beliefs, and defining their ultimate purpose. She’s passionate about encouraging you to let go of the expectations of who you're supposed to be and how you should live, and recover the life that's right for you.

After leaving her corporate career to raise her family, Debra experienced a devastating loss of identity, self-belief, and suburban life burnout. Nervous for the future she went searching for answers. Not knowing what she was looking for other than a desire to feel better, she found by letting go of the past and finding your truth, the life you imagine is waiting for you.

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