It's always hard for me to leave my girls, especially if I know I won't see them for a couple of months. I've gotten used to it over the years, but I still leave with a lump in my throat. Not only because I miss them, but because I am so proud of who they've become.
For so many years, it felt like I lost myself as I centered all my attention on them. While it's always right to focus on your children's future, there's so much more to living a well-rounded life. I get it now. Directing my focus toward my girls was more rewarding than facing the uncertainties I felt in other areas. It was a way to avoid my feelings or accepting my current reality, thus giving away any possibility of changing the outcome. The more I numbed, the worse it felt, and the spiral continues.
Now I see the pain and discomfort all served a purpose. Without it, I wouldn't have looked for another way or done what it takes to create my life as it is now; clear, confident, and excited for every stage.
I found that doing the internal work changed everything. Here are four simple steps to redirect your path at any stage.
The work:
Step 1 - Rediscovering your "why" rather than what you "want" to accomplish.
I'm not talking surface levels wants and desires but rather the deep stuff that drives you to take action. Trust me, even if you hadn't visited it in a while, it still in there. Journal it out and rediscover who you are at your core.
Step 2 - Take back your control by facing all that stuff that hurt you along the way. You can't sweep it under the rug or buffer it with busyness. It's time to dig deep and write it out. Discover what's holding you back and keeping you from being all you're supposed to be. *You'll find the insights you need in feeling the pain, rather than numbing
Step 3 - Declutter your Life.
Decide what's worth your time and do what it takes to walk away from whatever you've outgrown or no longer serves you. This step may include people and things. Everyone is growing and evolving, and taking care of everyone's feelings is not your responsibility. *Deciding what to declutter is easier after embracing Step 1.
Step 4 - Deliberately design your life as you would like it to be.
What's your ultimate destination? Either way, you're headed in a direction, so you may as well intentionally create the plan. It's never too late to revisit your goals and start to visualize where you want to be. If you haven't done this in a while, it's ok. Allow yourself to dream. You can always revise it tomorrow and the next day, and the next day after that.
These simple steps have enhanced every relationship in my life, way beyond what I ever thought possible. I still find great joy in being part of my daughter's lives, and I'm still sad to leave them, but I'm also excited for what I have in front of me.
