How to Let Go of Past Anger
Updated: Jan 4
I was stuck and held back by my circumstances. Then, the busier I got, my life started spiraling out of control. I was full of anger about past events and didn't know how to change it. I realized that either I could stay here and continue in the same way as before; uninspired, gaining weight, going on as though being there for everyone else was enough, or I could figure it out.
You know all those things that happen throughout your life that jump back into your head at odd times, and you can't help it. And they make you so mad you can feel the anger rising.
At dinner last night, a woman told a story about bad things that have happened in her life, and her exact words were, "and this is why I cannot get anything right in my life." All the other people nodded their heads in agreement as if to say they understood.
I understood because I used to feel this same way. I was stuck and held back by my circumstances. Then, the busier I got, my life started spiraling out of control. I was full of anger about past events and didn't know how to change it.
I realized that either I could stay here and continue in the same way as before; uninspired, gaining weight, going on as though being there for everyone else was enough, or I could figure it out.
The worse and angrier I felt about my situation, the more I wanted to withdraw from things. I felt as though I no longer had anything to offer. My friends had shifted, and even my kids didn't want to spend as much time with me. At first, I blamed it on them being teenagers, but that wasn't it.
The thing is that I was allowing all these things that happened to me, whether this morning, last week or even 20 years ago, to continue to take space up in my life. I was allowing the same things to make me angry or hurt me, over and over again.
I finally had enough and started searching for ways to change; change the circumstances, and change my life. I was sick of feeling that I wasn't enough.
Finally, I learned how to release the past and let it go and create a space in my life for better times and more loving experiences.
I get it. All that stuff that's making you angry wasn't your fault. But, by holding on to it, it's taking you away from the good things in your life.
You are worth so much more than your circumstances, and the negativity of the past holds you back and keeps you stuck. The only way to break free is to let it go. One way to do that is through forgiveness.
Forgiveness does not make what was said or done OK, and it doesn't take the other person off the hook. It only releases the emotions from your body, so the memory no longer triggers you.
You don't need to involve the other person at all. It's a mindset shift, and it is 100% about you reclaiming your time and energy.
It releases you from the pain, and it allows you to fill that space with the things you desire in your life.
It puts you back in control over your emotions and what drives you through your day.
Think about it. If you allow things from your past to continue to hurt you, it gives that same incident the power to hurt you repeatedly. In other words, you're allowing that person who hurt you to win over and over again.
You are 100% responsible for every part of your life, including your thoughts and emotions.
The Ho'oponopono Forgiveness exercise to say in your head:
I forgive you (Release it to the universe)
I'm sorry (You say you're sorry because you may have energetically put yourself in a position to be hurt)
Thank you (Thank the universe for the lesson)
I love you (Love is the strongest emotion in the universe, and whatever you add love to flows)
Write it in your journal and repeat it in your head until the circumstance no longer triggers an emotion. Forgiveness is not a one and done practice. It's a do again and again until it works.
"We are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past, but by the love, we're not extending in the present."