• debraleegroup

How to shift your values


“I chose Red, the color of rage and most likely what I was feeling inside. The thing is, it’s normal not to know what you want, but to want to feel better, or different. So, you reach for something, anything, that’s going to help you or numb your mood.”


My kitchen has three large windows with red valances on top, and I remember thinking the red may add some pop to the room.


The thought takes me back to a time where I was uncertain about everything, including what to do with those windows. Trust me; it’s all connected.


My kids were young, and I was clear on what I wanted for them, but I was unhappy, and I had no idea what to do or where to turn. My life had somehow spiraled out of control which was dramatically different from the determined sales rep I was a few years earlier.


Back then, I was thoroughly engaged in my career, and my schedule was full, but things shifted after I quit my job and stayed home.


I was living so far away from my zone of genius that it was hard to fit in anywhere, and it wasn’t long before my confidence shifted to self-doubt.


So, having once been well connected with family and friends, it felt odd to feel lonely and anxious, and it wasn’t long before all my relationships started to slip.


The things that came so naturally before, now felt forced or fake.


I needed something to make me feel better, but I had no idea what I was looking for. I just didn’t want to feel like this anymore.


I noticed my windows were so open and bare; they needed something too, yet I didn’t know what that was either. I just wanted something different something new, so I called a company who specialized in window treatments, and they came out, and I choose a color.


I was living so far away from the person I was, so far away from my real identity, the colors weren’t even close to right.


While my favorite colors are deep blues or cream-colored neutrals, I choose red. The color of rage, and most likely what I was feeling inside. Even when you think you’re hiding it, there’s always clues or signs of your current reality.


The thing is, it’s normal not to know what you want, but to want to feel better, or different. So, you reach for something, anything, that’s going to help you, or numb your mood.


Whether it’s shopping for shoes, overeating, or drinking to numb the feeling or any number of ways to just get away.


That day, it was the window dressing. A reminder of an unaligned decision meant to uplift my self-worth.


The thing is, your value can’t be bought or numbed into validation, but it can be turned around and shifted to a new vision. It can be built up to a better place where what brought you there becomes a stepping stone to clarity and drive.


It never comes from anything outward, and you can’t numb it away.


It’s always about looking within and releasing what’s holding you back or keeping you stuck, or angry, or feeling like there’s got to be more.


It’s asking yourself questions and facing the pain or discomfort straight on, and simple steps that redirect you no matter where you’re at or how you’re feeling now.


-Decide that you’re too important to wait another day, and commit that this is the day you decide to make a change.

-Journal and write your life as you would like it to be.

-Start dreaming about how you would like to feel through the day and what you want to accomplish at the end of the week, even if you’re not sure what this is right now.

-Let it go and get it out. Write it with a passion for your eyes only. Feel the freedom from sharing your inner thoughts where you don’t need to explain or justify them to anyone.

-What you focus on becomes a reality so shift your focus by writing out your dreams and desires every day.

-Express gratitude for what you have, both good and not so good that push you to the next thing.

-Forget about the window treatments or any perceived mistakes you feel you’ve made. Forgive yourself and let it go.


I look at the windows, and I smile because I know how far I’ve come, and how great I feel!


I remember when this was process was foreign to me, and I didn’t know where to turn, and working with someone would have expedited my growth.


If this resonates with you, don’t waste another day trying to figure it out or feeling frustrated or embarrassed by your current state.


PM me, if you want to design a path and see how this can fit exactly what you need right now. You’re ready to shift from circumstances and uncertainty to clarity and drive around your family, business, and health.


Message me for an exclusive half-day session to get you back to alignment, determination, and purpose.


PM and we’ll get laser clear on your path specific to your situation and needs and design a plan to get you headed to where you want to go.