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How to Make Choices from your Heart


Make decisions on what you want, not on what you're afraid of losing.

How to make choices from the heart đź’—

So my family is in the process of clearing out my mother's longtime home. She is living in a retirement community, and while she would like to go home, she needs more care than we can provide. So we are clearing out her home and deciding who gets what and what goes where.

She has always been warm and welcoming and has enjoyed a large circle of friends. Ahead of her time, she was a yoga and meditation teacher, long before it was mainstream.

She had this vibrant personality and a drive to stand in her truth of what she believed in, (yoga), even when many of her old friends and those in the community chose to dismiss or laugh at her.

She often felt the pain of going against the grain.

Her life has been full of incredible experiences that seemed to bring unique and beautiful art and artifacts to her home. With all the memories and love, I feel here; this has been an emotional experience.

The disputes among family members and third parties we hired to help have added to the emotion and stress. With specific timelines to adhere to before the estate sale, and the pressure was getting to me.

Suddenly, I felt overwhelmed and rushed into deciding what's right for me to keep and to give to my children and what to leave for the sale. I felt triggered by the thought of losing my mom's stuff and the pressure to hurry up and make up my mind. I felt like the people helping us, and even some family, didn't understand.

Triggered, I felt the need to grab what I could and hold onto the objects not lose them, lose the memories, lose the preciousness of handing down heirlooms. I was agitated and uncomfortable, and I was mad. I didn't want it to go this way, and I had to make it stop.

I had to get the decisions out of my head and back in my heart.

I thought about it for a moment, and this is what I did.

I asked for a few hours alone in her home to make decisions with only my opinions in my head and set it up for the next morning.

Then I went home and journaled, and this is what I wrote about:

-All the thoughts going through my mind and what I was feeling -All the people helping in the process and why I was feeling triggered -What I wanted to feel about my choices afterward -How I wanted the relationships with my family members, including my mom, to feel

Then, I read it back to myself, and I saw it all in a different light.

It was as though I was reading it from a third party and with this, I was able to make better and more precise decisions.

Where I was still feeling triggered, I decided to let it go and release the emotions knowing that the universe is always working for me, so I forgave each person involved, including myself.

In my head, I forgave them for not understanding one another and various other things that were still triggering me.

I took the time to forgive myself and release myself from the emotions.

I felt the release, the breakthrough and, the clarity.

It may sound crazy and a lot to do, but it was a massive issue that I had been holding onto for a long time. It included all those family emotions that had been building for years.

The next morning I saw my mother's home differently.

I saw it from my heart, not my head. It felt different and lighter.

By letting it go and releasing the thoughts, my vibrations switched to a higher frequency.

My decisions, now clear and focused, were on what I wanted rather than grabbing what I was afraid of losing.

Rather than irritation, I felt gratitude for the people helping me in the process.

Stop, think, release, clear, and then, decide from the heart.

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Debra Lee May

© 2018 by EDS

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