How to find the real story
My daughter is home with her boyfriend for a few days. She lives across the country, and we have not seen her in 4 months. Our visit has been both great, and a learning experience. I feel so many emotions which are not unusual for any age kids?
It’s been hard because we have always been so close, but when they live far away, it feels like a portion of that slips a little, not because the feelings aren’t there but because the time isn’t. Sometimes, I think it is all just a part of the separation.
A few months ago, she met us at her sister’s graduation a few states away, and I remember dropping her back off at the airport with a lump in my throat. It reminded me of the 20 years of taking my sister back to the airport after her brief visits. It felt like a different level of closeness than before. It’s all in the element of time to spend time with them. Even if you talk to them every day without face to face communication, something shifts.
So I am writing this on the day her boyfriend is leaving, and then we get her alone for the rest of the week, and I hope that I can bond on a higher level for a few days. As with most things in life, there’s always another level to rise above.
While we had been very spoiled with her attention in the past, this trip, she had another agenda that I understand. She was excited to show her boyfriend her hometown and the places she grew up, and I get this.
My family who had not seen her for a while, or hadn’t met him, all wanted to see them too. So, while I booked her up with family intros and meals, she was planning her escape to all the places and people she wanted to see. This has been a wildly different visit than before.
All the emotions surrounding family and kids could quickly get the best of me. Sometimes for the moment, they do. Then, I remember that I can push through it, and reset my mind and figure out how to make it all work in my favor. The universe is always working for you, and it’s about resetting your mindset to see the lesson.
Write it out! *Get the story straight in your mind, and write out your feelings. *What hurts? *What is making you angry or uncomfortable? *Get it out until you feel the release and can see the story for what it is and not mixed with or overshadowed by emotion.
Rather than venting to someone who wouldn’t see things the same way you do, write it out and release the emotions until you’re thinking straight.
Sorting it out yourself means you never have to explain the story.
There’s no judgment. No grammar corrections. No oversharing what’s important to you.
You’re free to feel the release, and then see things for what they are, and maybe see that this is the way it’s supposed to be.
Now, I clearly see that she has a lot on her plate too, and she is excited about so many things in her life. Her relationship, her family, her hometown and friends and at the same time she is happy in her career and life.
Taking the time to sort it out myself shifts my perspective. Removing the emotions allowed me to see things from her view, and see that this is exactly what I wanted for her.
Suddenly rather than pain and distance, I feel only pride and love. With renewed clarity and understanding, the closeness returns.